Tools and anchors for ‘being with’ strong emotions
Riding the strong emotional wave to calm waters…
… and doing your best to be consciously aware until it passes.
If we could run away from this pain we would, but the truth is, it does not leave our being unless we find out where it hurts, and then courageously tend to the wound.
Self-compassion is your greatest comforter and friend.
If you are feeling extreme and hard to bear feelings of heightened fear, fogginess, agitation, tightness, grrr’ing and grating, rage and rigidity pummelling your whole being, then lie down where it is comfortable and curl up into a protective hugging ball. It can help to hold your ear to your pillow and to cover the other ear with a soft padding (to close out the world and its over stimulation). Stay aware as best you can. Let your eyes drift to a nearby window, if you can. Eventually you will see a a touch of nature catch your gaze, maybe a hint of colour, and remarkably … it does help bring you back into your body and a calmer nervous system.
Strong emotions are your unharnessed energies of crummy thoughts, cries to be heard and hard to handle feelings of wants and needs still waiting to be met and cared for, as you, your younger Self. You are now finally hearing and tending to your younger Self’s wishes, as you, your adult Self in all the ways you are about to find out.
You no longer have to wait, or believe you need permission for someone to come and give you what you need. You can now care for your most vulnerable feelings all on your own and in a way that is loving and caring. You are learning to take good care of your Self in all the ways that makes you feel happy, and over time fulfilled … lit up by your freedom to choose.
You are opening up a painful and crushing wound, to find space, and to fill this space with love and choice, guided by your Spirit, who you are learning to instinctively feel amid the heartache.
Meeting these painful experiences unlocks and opens the door to your dreams, by bringing a conscious heart felt truth - new reality - to your life. It is not easy to understand to begin with, but over time, with insight you will gain clarity and begin to feel consistent in your day to day choices.
Focus on your breath as a tool for staying anchored.
Your breath is your friend, and your reminder that you are made of nature by the very nature that you breathe without thought. Your breath is a motion to feel these big vulnerabilities and to let them gradually move through all the channels of your Mind, brain and body. Just like a river so you can become one with the ocean and its tides.
Over time you will learn to breathe deeply - slowly - and with awareness - to all your vulnerable feelings.
You know the truth of who you are
Quietly say to your Self, ‘I am not my thoughts. I am not my body. I know who I am. I am made of love’.
Surrendering to your best friend.
Crummy thoughts can feel real while they are in your head but they are not true, nor are they who you are. They are just made up crummy thoughts and I promise you, they will get weaker and dissolve each time you surrender to the pain of the sticky rigid feelings.
You are creating space by unsticking and releasing the egos untruths so you can hear your real Self - the goodness you already are. You are learning to enjoy the gift of how you think and feel so you can be a best friend to your Self.
Learning to hug your Self.
You are safe and you are supported. You are caring for and nursing your Self to give to you what was unable to be given as a child. You are unknotting to hear what was once unconsciously ignored, dismissed and misunderstood.
Breathe deeply and surrender to the prickles. Breathe - long - deep - inwards - downwards - with awareness - over and over.
Breathe long and deep. Imagine your Self creating space with each breath. With each surrender.
Let the tears come.
Crying is incredibly healing and very necessary. There is a beauty to releasing tears because you are touching your heart at a very deep level, as intended by nature, to remind you, that you too are nature. Just like the rain.
Put your hand on your heart.
Say aloud, ‘I am here for you’. Lie or sit in the quietness of your Self, with your tears and every part of your being. Curl inward. Place your hand on your very tender heart and hold it there. Massage the area around your heart if it feels soothing. Rock your body to comfort the ache. Stay aware. Keep breathing. The calmer waters will come.
Let it out
Saying aloud what hurts so badly helps to untangle the disappointments, the loss, the hopelessness and the confusion.
They are just words and do not reflect your true nature in any way. You are in your sacred space to release all that has hidden you from your goodness. This is your time to get it out of your head and out of your (nervous) system.
These feelings need to be heard and held, no matter how your words may sound. They are just words. Saying aloud how you feel is all a part of creating space, and making room for the calm loving you.
Say aloud, ‘I am love. I am loveable and I am made of love’.
Nurture your tender Self by smiling and telling your Self you are loved, loveable and made of love. It may feel too hard to begin with but when you have ridden the strong emotional wave to calm waters be sure to let your Self know you are loved. Look in the mirror and say ‘I am loved’. Watch your face to see your response, then smile.
Let your gaze drift towards nature.
It is your anchor. Let nature’s beauty find you and let it hold you. Its aliveness and mystery is a reflection of you.
Flowers, leaves, moving trees, perhaps your dog or cat. See its innocence to remind you of your loving innocence.
Focusing your gaze stimulates new memory muscles and supports you to feel and express your vulnerabilities.
Look for inspiration. Turn to those who inspire.
Let the ache and fatigue of your pain and cries for help be heard by the power of a greater strength.
Remember … we all need to feel supported when we are not yet strong.
It may be God, or Jesus, or the Buddha. Whoever or whatever gives you strength. If your very deep natural feelings call out to you, then let your Self be comforted by these wise masters, healers and higher Spirits who give you comfort. Be inspired by those who had to be strong. It is they who give you strength.
Sensory Sensitivity
Every part of your being will feel hypersensitive.
Noise will seem louder and more irritating. Light may seem too bright. You may find it excruciating to be around people when all you need to do is protect and take care of where it hurts most. ‘Where does it hurt the most’?
If it is all too overwhelming …
…instinctively move away from the pain. Away from where it is too tender to yet touch. Feelings takes time feel.
Get up, walk around, maybe shake it out. Be fine with the need for distractions to help bring you away from the pain.
We all have to be strong enough to meet these very powerful unharnessed energies living in our being. It takes time to loosen heavy energies. Go slowly. Gently. Feel your quiet. Be in your own space until you are ready to be back in the world. Do what you need and what feels right for now. It takes time to recover from touching big feelings.
If you made it to calm waters.
Nourish your Self in all the ways only you know how. Listen to what you most need and do your best to meet those needs. It may take a little time to move through the stick and put into action your hearts desires. Rest quietly until the urge for inspiration comes to Mind, picks you up and (without hard thinking) leads the way.
Fill the space you have created with love.
Inspiration will come because you have made space for your Soul/Spirit to be heard, and for your heart’s desires to be put into action. Only your Spirit knows what it needs because this is where your natural gifts speak to your heart.
You are never given more than you can handle on your healing journey and you are always supported as you learn to trust your feeling heart and Soul’s wisdom. Over time your awareness, or Spirit will always be your anchor.
A new determined you will arise.
Fill your Soul with nourishment
Play music. Go swimming. Do what comes to your mind that will bring nourishment to your Soul.
Make a pot of tea. Sit in a quiet place and savour every sip. Feel the warmth of the sun on your body. Or the cool wind on your face. Lay or sit with abandon and watch the clouds move in the sky. Feel your vastness. Breathe in life.
Although this can be very hard to begin with, you may like to write about your feelings. Express your Self in your own unique creative way to help you understand your feelings. When the time and freedom to do so feels right.
Let the ideas, passions and newfound swelling of enthusiasm carry you through your days. Be present to the gifts you have made space for. You have strengthened your mind with your deep emotional intelligence and an awareness for seeing your Self and your relationship with life. One that is now empowering for you in every way.
Your Spiritual well-being has been nurtured and taken care of so you can shine in who you are, wherever you go.
You are learning to love your Self - the right way up
Nurturing a sense of wellbeing by feeling the full expression of your emotions helps you to live your purpose with meaning, a sense of belonging and a consistent feeling of happiness. We all have to experience the full range of our emotions to know freedom.
